Dear America,

We are digging our own grave.

I want to scream it every fucking day. Every time I get in my car. Every time I use the microwave, the fucking TV, the god damn Mac I fuck you. EVERYTHING is a big FUCK YOU. Because I know where it all goes. Fuck it. And every day I want to scream.

So here I am stockpiling dehydrated foods and bullets and water.

But I’m not the only one.

I feel crazy watching the end of the world. Any way you slice it. What is coming hasn’t been before. Except for the starvation, violence, death, rape, disease and other general negative behaviors associated with humans.

Meanwhile, we fight over race and drugs and healthcare. Which we can’t even talk about because we fight about partys and race and how much will it cost. Meanwhile, most high school students drop out. Meanwhile, the randomness in Iraq continues to be inexplicable. Meanwhile everyone asks whats in it for me, not what’s good America? No wonder everything is fucked. When everyone does it if they can get away with it.

We probably won’t destroy the world, at least not the way everyone says, in some cool way like explosions and fire. But we are definetly, at best going to push back the progress of the entire globe by a hundred years. All because politically, economically, environmentally, and culturally we did not prepare for this moment. There is no quick fix. Kiss your loved ones every day because they are numbered now.

There is a lot of hard work ahead. And none of us are prepared for it. The economy is going to fail. The environment is going to go through a serious “transitional phase” and we will feel what it is to be a wild beast again.

Unfortunately, no one will believe me until the television breaks down. HA! And the politicians and the government will prove to be what they always have been. Useless. And all of us regular people will be left begging for death to come. Mostly because from conception to death we have lived in an infrastructure so expansive few of us can comprehend it at all. And when it fails we starve. Well first dehydration, probably.

But hopefully, if all goes well I’ll be deep in the desert, hoping the zombies of death can’t find me.

Crack?

At some point on of my friends was talking about crack and cutting cocaine, and I tried to explain that being someone who has cooked it before, I know all about how dirty it is.

INGREDIENTS : STREET TAR - 1street $5 EVERCLEAR - 1/20 of 1OZ. JACK DANIELS - 1/20 of 1 OZ. HIGH OCTANE GASOLINE - 7 DROPS
HIGHGRADE SNIFFABLE COCAINE - 1 GRAM AMONIA - 1/2 OZ ish WARM AND ROOM TEMP WATER.

TAKE EVERCLEAR AND JACK AND TAR AND GAS AND DESOLVE TOGETHER AND PUT IN SMALL GLASS CUP. PUT 80 ML OF ROOM TEMP. WATER IN A SMALL GLASS AND MIX 1 GRAM OF COCAINE IN WATER AND ADD DROPS OF AMONIA TILL IT TURNS CLEAR. AT THIS POINT YOU SHOULD HAVE A BALL OF CRACK IN YOUR CUP. POUR YOUR BALL INTO A COFFE FILTER AND LIGHTLY RINCE WITH WARM WATER. PLACE INTO GLASS CUP WITH TAR MIXTURE PLACE TAR CUP ONT A COOKIE SHEET AND BAKE FOR 3 AND 1/2 HS. AT 200 DEGREES . AND SMOKE IT.

25 steps to winning a girl

1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say “could be better.” This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. If she is, say “you better be.” Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things; they usually mean the most. Then when she’s sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for WHORES and Asian ladies.

7. If you’re talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words ‘FUCK YOU!!,’ and grab the other girl’s ass. Girls love competition.

8. Tell her you’re taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it’s going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you’re really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear “…because I can.”

9. Introduce her to your friends as “some chick”. Women love those special nicknames.

10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

11. Warm her up when she’s cold… but not by giving her your jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say, “If you don’t stop bitching about the cold right now, you’re going to be bitching about a black eye.” The best way to get warm is with fear.

12. Take her to a party. When you get there she’ll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party’s dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn’t girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she’s fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.

15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

17. Every time you’re in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she’ll go crazy.

18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order interrupt and say “No, she’s not hungry”. Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

20. Give her one of your t-shirts… and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I’m talking about.

22. If you’re listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she’ll think you’re mysterious.

23. Remember her birthday, but don’t get her anything. Teach her material objects aren’t important. The only thing that’s important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she’s coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don’t like this one that much, but I think it’s funny.

25. If she’s mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will ensure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you’re going to tell her a special surprise. Now she’ll be really excited. Now don’t call. That’s also quite funny!

I don't necessarily have anything against Sarah, I just like things that point out the incompetence of our elected "leaders".

1. "As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where– where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border." --Sarah Palin, explaining why Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, interview with CBS's Katie Couric, Sept. 24, 2008

2. "The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil." –-Sarah Palin, in a message posted on Facebook about Obama's health care plan, Aug. 7, 2009

3. "Who calls a shot like that? Who makes a decision like that? It's a disturbing trend." –Sarah Palin, pushing a conspiracy theory that "In God We Trust" had been moved to the edge of coins because of the Obama administration (the change was made by the Bush administration in 2007 and was later reversed by Congress, before Obama took office), West Allis, Wisconsin, Nov. 6, 2009

4. "We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. ... We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation." --Sarah Palin, speaking at a fundraiser in Greensoboro, N.C., Oct. 16, 2008

5. "Ohh, good, thank you, yes." --Sarah Palin, after a notorious Canadian prank caller complimented her on the documentary about her life, Hustler's "Nailin Paylin," Nov. 1, 2008 (Read more about the prank call, and see the transcript) Watch

6. "Well, let's see. There's ? of course in the great history of America there have been rulings that there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American, and there are those issues, again, like Roe v. Wade, where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So, you know, going through the history of America, there would be others but ?" --Sarah Palin, unable to name a Supreme Court decision she disagreed with other than Roe vs. Wade, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008

7. "All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years." --Sarah Palin, unable to name a single newspaper or magazine she reads, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008

8. "[T]hey're in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom." --Sarah Palin, getting the vice president's constitutional role wrong after being asked by a third grader what the vice president does, interview with NBC affiliate KUSA in Colorado, Oct. 21, 2008

9. "They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan." --Sarah Palin, speaking at a fundraiser in San Francisco,

10. "I think on a national level your Department of Law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out." --Sarah Palin, referring to a department that does not exist while attempting to explain why as president she wouldn't be subjected to the same ethics investigations that compelled her to resign as governor of Alaska, ABC News interview, July 7, 2009

Joshua Tree

I went to Joshua Tree for 3 days. I camped at Black Rock Campground, and Jumbo Rock.