Seems About Right To Me

I don't know what this is, but it's my kind of woman. I mean I know it's Jennifer Aniston, but I don't know what it's from.

Random Awesome

Ahhhh What Now?

What the fuck am I supposed to say? Fuck it. She writes me this, “Sorry for being such a bitch when you were just really nice to me.” Yeah, fucking understated like woah. You were a little bit more then just a “bitch”.

I flew to North Carolina, fucking North Carolina, and drove all the way across that stupid state to see you. I got to your house, met you in the driveway, and your reaction was, “When can you leave?” LITERALLY, after months of asking me to come, after the entire day you sent me text messages about how excited you were to see me. And then, as soon as I arrive you kick me out of your life, and when I am, what I see as understandably confused, you say, “You only wanted to fuck me anyway.” First of all, if that was all I wanted, three months before when I did fuck you for the first time that would have been it. Secondly, NORTH FUCKING CAROLINA! I rented a fucking car. Stupid bitch.

And now, in a message titled, “hey dude” you say, “Sorry for being such a bitch when you were just really nice to me.” And I am beyond confused. That was like in September, and I kind of wrote you off as some crazy bitch. And I guess I was right. AND What the fuck does she expect? I have NOTHING to say to this person. I want to be mad and just say like fuck you or something, but I really don’t care, or not enough anyway. I’m just so fucking confused. I think it’s just the timing. I feel like I am surrounded by the insane, the lazy, and the insanely lazy. I don’t know, she is far from the only girl to dick me over lately, and she is even surprisingly far from the worst, but I guess it’s the fact that she has decided to randomly throw herself back into my life.

I kind of knew it would happen. My good friend’s gf is best friends with the “bitch”, and I could tell that lately they have been hanging out a lot, even though no one will admit it. So I’ve been feeling it, I just never expected her to actually contact me directly. I mean, I expected the most dramatic and annoying way of having to deal with this. In that light, it’s not that bad. I think I’m just going to keep to that old saying, “if you don’t have anything good to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Anyway, this incident has left me with one final thought.

ALL CRAZY PEOPLE, LEAVE ME ALONE! Thank you.

Traffic Court

So, on Thanksgiving I was pulled over by a member of the LAPD. He gave me a citation for an illegal U-turn, at Hollywood and Whitley, where there is no "no U-turn" sign. So, I took the citation, and read it, and followed the directions on it, which ended up with me at the Metropolitan Court on Hill in downtown LA yesterday.

First of all, I get there, and it's like a fucking complete free for all. I had no idea where to go, but somehow 3 people still asked ME for directions. I guess that pretty much sums up how crazy that place can be. I ended up asking a cop because what else am I paying them for? And amazingly, he sent me to the right line.

So, I stood in this line for 2 hours or a little more, to get to talk to a VERY old and unpleasant woman. Oh, and while I was in the line, you know what it's like, the little rope things, and the zigg zagg, the awkward seeing other people staring at you while you stare at people, EVERYONE tried to check out this ONE girl. Like, LITERALLY, every dude turned looked at her, and moved his eyes down to her ass. I mean, she had a nice ass, but like EVERY dude, in the most gross and "undress you with my eyes" kind of way looked her over. It was weird, like what do they think? If they drool enough she'll be like, "Oh damn that guy REALLY wants to fuck me, yeah, he's the one." I don't know.

Anyway, I'm on this stupid line and FINALLY I get to the end, and i get to talk to this angry woman for like 5 seconds. Since I had heard her berate multiple people for not having their ID and ticket ready, I was all ready, so maybe I didn't even say anything. Anyway, I'm there and she's like, "This isn't in the system." And I'm just standing there like, "Okay? What am I supposed to do...?" So it turns out that the jackass cop didn't fill out the ticket right. So he was literally just fucking with me. As far as I can tell he never meant for me to actually pay anything, he was just bored on Thanksgiving. But I guess, if in the end all I have to do is pay $7 for parking then I'm okay with wasting a day in downtown.

Meow

This Is What I Am Talking About

So there was ANOTHER crash on my corner. What is that 3 in one month?

The thing isn't so much the crash, it's how people reacted to it. And I'm not talking about the usual ways, rubber-neckers and such. The crash involved two cars, the SUV that flipped, and a little Toyota that was just dented in the front. The little car seemed fine, while the SUV required and ambulance. All the while the family from the other car, a fat and ugly mother and father and their fat ugly spawn milled about, and their children ran around playing soccer. It just seemed so disrespectful. I mean, I don't know who caused the crash, which car, but it was so freaking disrespectful to be just standing there while your children run around the CRASH SCENE while the other driver is literally being pulled out by paramedics. Just a thought.

Mildly Interesting

HERE ARE 10 OF THE ODDEST ITEMS EVER LEFT UNCLAIMED AT THE AIRPORT............


1) A RATTLESNAKE- YES, A LIVE RATTLER. IT WAS LEFT ROAMING AROUND THE REST OF THE UNCLAIMED LUGGAGE (!!!!)

2) A NAVAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM- THIS PIECE OF EQUIPMENT WORTH $250,000.00 WAS LOST AND NEVER CLAIMED. THE CENTER DECIDED TO BE GOOD SPORTS AND RETURNED IT TO THE NAVY.

3) BOUNTIFUL BARBIE- A WOMAN PURCHASED A BARBIE DOLL AT THE CENTER FOR HER DAUGHTER. BUT WHEN THE GIRL PROMPTLY YANKED THE DOLL'S HEAD OFF, $500.00 IN ROLLED UP BILLS TUMBLED OUT OF HER BODY.

4) A VIOLIN FROM THE 1770'S. IT NOW RESIDES IN THE UNCLAIMED BAGGAGE CENTER MUSEUM.

5) A SLEW OF ANCIENT EGYPTIAN ARTIFACTS- FROM A MUMMIFIED FALCON TO A SHRUNKEN HEAD, A BUNCH OF OBJECTS DATING BACK TO 1500 B.C. WAS FOUND IN A GUCCI SUITCASE. CHRISTIE'S AUCTION HOUSE ENDED UP SELLING THE OBJECTS IN THE 1980'S.

6) A 40.95 CARAT NATURAL EMERALD.

7) A FULL SUIT OF ARMOR- UNLIKE THE TRUE EGYPTIAN ARTIFACTS, THIS SUIT OF ARMOR WAS MERELY A REPLICA OF A 19TH CENTURY SUIT OF ARMOR. BUT THE GUY WHO LOST IT MUST HAVE SPENT THE REST OF HIS LIFE WONDERING WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE SUIT OF ARMOR HE LOST.

8) "HOGGLE FROM "LABYRINTH"- "HOGGLE" WAS DAVID BOWIE'S DWARF-GOBLIN MINION IN THE 1986 MOVIE "LABYRINTH".

9) A CAMERA DESIGNED FOR USE IN THE NASA SPACE SHUTTLE. DUTIFULLY, IT WAS RETURNED TO NASA. WITH THIS AND THE NAVAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM, ONE WONDERS ABOUT THE STATE OF OUR NATION'S SECURITY.

10) A 5.8 CARAT DIAMOND RING PACKED IN A SOCK.

Helicopter

What the hell? At first it was just a helicopter, but then it started hovering, and then yelling things on the loud speaker. After about fifteen minutes of, "Trust us, we're gonna get you!" and the shaking of everything in my house, I assumed that as usual soon it would be over. Not so. Here almost 3 hours and 4 helicopters later the entire neighborhood is closed off and I can't go outside. The flying machine bellows, "Say in your homes, and lock your doors. SIR! Return to your home!" Okay. Sorry, but I'm bored of being stuck in my house.

I'm not trying to complain too much, I mean they have a job to do, I get it. But come on. It's been hours. How much does it cost to keep those birds in the sky? Taze him, gas him, what ever. Just finish it already.

Okay. Update. Not only did they block off the neighborhood, fly around for hours, and make fuck all noise for hours, but also the LAPD found it necessary to come through my house, and search the backyard. Apparently, some burglars were running away from them, and went into a house or a yard, and that is how this all started. Over burglary. So yeah. Finally over I hope.

http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/klta-wilshire-standoff,0,4991396.story

Winston Churchill

This Crap-tastic Weekend

My parents aren't from LA. They're from Brooklyn. So when they moved here they didn't know anything. One consequence of that was, they sent me to a catholic school for the first eight grades. This school was run by two nuns. One, an ancient and therefore more benign and forgivable nun, and one younger perhaps more devout, but certainly more of a pain in the ass, nun.

The older one was the principal, and I think she taught us beginning in 6th grade. The other one actually did everything in terms of running the school. Not because that was her job, but because even if she hadn't become a nun she would have been one of those nosey obsessive obnoxious people who HAS to take control of everything. You know, those people who are more nervous when they are doing nothing then when they are totally overwhelmed, although they are never pleasant. Anyway, the younger one taught us classes starting from the beginning, but eventually, around 6th grade the only class I had without a nun was math.

So everything, from geography to history, from science to english was ALL taught with a heavy christian lean. And I don't mean like they would say stuff like, "Well, there is the universe, and god made it, but we can still use science to understand it." No. It wasn't even that liberal. It was a, "God made it, and you damn well better be thankful, and if you fuck up, you're going to hell!" kind of a place. Fuck, I can't imagine how destroyed the psyche of each child put into their care is now. They taught us that masturbation will send you to hell, people who aren't christian are going to hell, if you don't go to church you are going to hell, if you think about a hot girl and how cool it would be to fuck her you are going to hell, if you think about masturbating you are going to hell. Fuck, they taught us that if you think about sinning you are sinning and you are going to hell. How the fuck are you supposed to rationally approach a situation if thinking about what might happen might send you to hell?

Alright, here is a little example. My best friend at the time and I had just watched Jurassic Park, as did millions of little spawn at the time. And like any boys who like science just because, we were intrigued by the possibility of leaving behind animals from today for people in the future, like the flies in the movie. That's how they get the dinosaur DNA. Anyway, we decided that was a good idea, and we decided to try it out with some glue and some ants and other unfortunate insects.

So there we are two little kids on the playground with glue and ants. Sounds pretty normal to you? If you were a teacher/ parent/ guardian how would you react? Would you be mildly amused? Would you be curious what we were doing, or why? Or would you grab us by the hair/ ear and drag us physically to the main office to be punished with lectures, parent calling, and lines? You know, lines, when you write shit over and over again, like Bart Simpson. Anyway, that IS how those nuns reacted. Not with any kind of understanding of creativity, or exploratory spirit. Only with the wrath of god and the full whirlwind condemnation for killing HIS creatures. Yeah, meanwhile I'm sure they would LAUGH at a vegetarian who won't eat meat for the same reason. In fact I know so.

So here I am years later, expecting that this is a distant memory from ten years ago, and I can curse their names and try to forget the abuse. But no. Why? Because my obnoxious mother is a goddamn weekly observant christian and so is my idiot father. And despite my objections of, "I fucking hate those people," we are having dinner with them on Sunday. Fuck me. I'm going to stab a nun in the face.

I fucking hate it though. I was so close to getting out of it, and my mom turns on the who, "Oh but that old bitch is going to die and it would mean so much to me, and your brother is here and blah blah blah." So fuck me, I said okay.

And you know what? Fuck my brother too. I don't know why my parents kiss his ass so much. All he wants is to LEAVE, like both of us did originally, and on top of that he what? STOLE $85,000 FROM YOU FUCKING IDIOTS! Goddamn it. And they can't even spare me fucking gas money. They kiss his fucking ass and the ass of his fat breeder girlfriend. Meanwhile, my retard father can't lift a finger to keep this house from literally falling apart. And guess who ends up patching the roof, laying concrete, and unclogging the pluming full of YOUR FUCKING SHIT AND TOILET PAPER YOU LAZY ASSHOLES!

Fuck. How did this because a fuck my family fest? I mean, I really do not like them. That is true. And it is a constant test of my ability to keep my temper in check with them. But it is difficult for me. I mean, losing my temper is a big reason why I am fucking stuck with them to begin with, and a big reason why my life is fucked.

Goddamn it. I do not want to see these fucking nuns. Every memory I have of them is of me wanting to be big enough to kick their ass. And now I am. Fuck it. I am beginning to suspect that life is in fact a series of tests to see how far it can push you before you stab someone. Oh, well, I guess I'm going to stab a nun.

Revolution

I believe that there needs to be a new revolution. A revolution of manners.

It's really been pissing me off lately. Maybe it's just this city, but no one has any consideration at all for the existence of others, even to the detriment of their own existence. All you have to do is drive for five minutes, or stand in line at a busy grocery store to see what I mean. People have become so inwardly focused, to a point of obsession, where it isn't just annoying it's downright retarded.

When you run a stop sign or a red light with a "fuck you" attitude, it isn't me that you are fucking. You see, I didn't invent the roads, or the rules. But if one of us breaks them, both of us could end up dead. So I'm only asking for a little bit of courtesy in this world. The kind that leads to us not becoming rust colored blood spots that I see so frequently on the road.

The same thing goes for grocery stores. I know, you're hungry, you're stuck with your kids, you're tired, whatever. Everyone wants to get out of there. Okay, we all get it. But it really only makes things suck more for EVERYONE when you all start acting like you're back in high school. I've seen people cut in line, go back and forth between lines. It's like, "come on, we are all trapped here, accept it and we will all leave sooner." Instead, most people try to push their way forward, making things suck for everyone else, and if they run into someone like themselves, starts a confrontation. Making things suck for EVERYONE.

So all I am asking for is a little courtesy. The kind of courtesy where when you're stuck in line and it sucks, you shut the fuck up and don't be a bitch about it. Because it sucks for everyone, so shut up.

Just a tiny amount of consideration, and the world could be that much more efficient. A small revolution of manners. But I guess thinking ahead is a lot to ask for.

Factory Pictures

New Art

The Greatest Things In Life, Are It's Disappointments

I am so fucking sick of this city. I am so sick of people, and bullshit. I am so sick of hot ass skanky girls who fuck around with everyone and talk about sex all the time and how much they love it and blah blah blah and it turns out they are the WORST lay. So fucking disappointing.

I really don’t understand it. It’s like I hung out with this girl and whatever for a day or two, and she’s all flirty and touchy, so I finally get alone with her. And I mean, I’ve been like FEELING this chick. She seems perfect for me, hot as fuck, dark in demeanor and humor, kinky as shit, so I’m all about it. I’m like, sitting close to her, and feeling her thigh up her skirt, and she is totally cold. So I’m confused and I kind of cool down and she’s like, “what’s wrong?” And I’m just thinking, “What the fuck?” But I figure I just didn’t get it.

No actually, what I didn’t get is that is how she is. She is completely unreactive to everything. I would soon discover that making out with here is actually me kissing her and her just sitting here. So I kind of am not into this, but she’s like, “what’s wrong?”. And I don’t want to be like, “Well, your about as arousing as a dead fish at this point.”, but thought better of it. So we keep going and I get her shirt off and stuff, and finally she’s like, “take off your pants”, which is encouraging, but that was it. No blow job, no hand job, nothing. But I don’t know, I’m hard and horny obviously, I went down on her, and make her cum and everything, which is kind of my favorite thing, and still she doesn’t want to kiss me or touch me or anything.

But I guess, at that point I was really horny. I did just get her off. And she is fucking hot, long legs, thin body, firm tits, dark brunette. And I know she’s hit it with like way more athletic and good looking guys then me so I figure, “fuck it, she’s got to be good.” And her voice was so hot when she came. I wanted to be right up against her when I came in her.

But it was so disappointing. Like having sex with a warm bag. And fuck, how many times did she orgasm? I don’t fucking know. I pounded the fuck out of her, and she thinks it’s because I like her, but I just couldn’t wait to cum and for the whole thing to be over. I even still had to go home and jerk off. Fuck this shit. What the hell am I going to say to her? “Your hot and shit, but no thanks?”

I mean to have real good sex you have to be into it. It has to be biting and scratching and moaning and screaming and growling and sweat. I am rarely satisfied until I am completely exhausted. And even then it's normally just a matter of time. But this girl wasn't like that at all. She was a total lay back and take it. But not in ANY good way. In a way that was like WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I JUST MASTURBATE?

Just one more day of high expectations, and deep disappointments.

The Future? WTF?

So I don’t get it. In like every scifi, or action movie or just future movie or whatever everyone is wearing tracksuit overalls. Like the future will be all about being so busy that putting on pants and a shirt will just be to hard. Or like to be advanced you have to wear a solid color from head to toe.

You’d think you know, since these kinds of clothes originate from like janitors and other really dirty work, they must have some utility. My question is then, is everyone in the future really busy gardening or something all the time? I mean to take a shit you basically have to take the whole thing off. And it’s not that much easier to piss. So what the hell is everyone doing that they have to be wearing these things all the time? Lots of resistance training?

I’m just saying. Seems silly to me. I think it all probably comes from lazy costume designers and graphic artists, who needed a quick way of showing that the future is totally different then now. But why the hell did overall tracksuits make sense? Really.

Modern Man

He’s the last man

And he’s been modernized

He sees the world through

Electro-stereo-scopic eyes

He’s got a lot of friends

They’re dead from the head down

They listen to him

And they never frown

He’s got a best friend

It’s him in disguise

Together they see everything through

Electro-stereo-scopic eyes

He’s got his hand on your throat

And he can feel the pulse

But don’t worry

Because he’s a modern man

He’ll turn to his best friend

They don’t get paranoid

He’ll cut you up and

Turn what’s left into steak

Skin you alive and

Turn it into real estate

Just like the Indians

He’ll use everything

He’s a modern man

Friday Night

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so this weekend my friend is graduating from college. A few years late, but he did it. Congratulations. Oh, and he’s an art student so, he’s got like a show or whatever going on for it.

I am anticipating the usual bongs and beer, and large group of parents and teachers in a room full of mostly mediocre at best work. Fortunately, I like my friend’s work, so if anyone asks me anything at least I can talk about his stuff rather then launching in to a tangent of how shitty this piece is and it turns out to be the person’s I’m talking too. Which of course always happens, but often I don’t care, so fuck it.

So anyway, I’ll be at this place; Arts Center, in Pasadena to be exact, and that’s cool. I’ve been there before. It’s a nice place. I mean, it’s an arts college, there will be lots of hot chicks running around. And normally I do good at things like that. I can talk about art and all that bullshit real good.

But really, there is this one chick that in particular I’m hoping will be there. See this would pretty much be like a regular night of blasted and whatever, but I am actually looking forward to seeing this person. And by that I mean, I’m kind of nervous. Which is weird for me, but I like her. And it’s one of those situations where you know she’s cute and all, and we get along, and there was a time when I had a good chance, but I decided to fuck her hot friend instead. It wasn’t a big deal or anything, I didn’t like piss her off, we just were friends and lost contact. I mean, we hung out and stuff, and I actually asked her out. I think I took her to the LACMA, but I never made a move or anything, I don’t really know why, so it just kind of fizzled.

Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if she just figured I lost interest, which is kind of true. She moved to Long Beach and started hanging out with a shit load of hipsters. The last time I saw her was at her place for her birthday or something like that. Someone’s birthday. And since hipsters and I generally get along like oil and water that was what I expected then too, but I remember getting really drunk with a hot Asian friend of hers, and everyone thought I fucked her, but I just took her home. Damn, that was a sexy Asian. I lost her number before I even got home that night.

Anyway, so everything is hella complicated with this girl, and I have never even touched her or anything, or even tried. But I know that when I see her it’ll go one of two ways; either I’ll be drunk, and I’ll blow it, or I’ll be stoned, and I might have a chance to talk my way to somewhere. But it looks like slim chances thus far.

Oh, shit. I just remembered the last time I saw her. I fucking forget everything. I bet when I see her she’ll be like, “Stoner, you saw me like last month at blah blah blah…” Because that always happens. But anyway, anyway, the last time I saw her was at her best friend’s house. I really did not want to be there. It was far from my scene. From what I remember before I retired to the back yard with a 12 pack and a bong I brought myself, the place looked like one of those new McDonalds commercials that is trying to look like an American Apparel commercial. So I was like “uhhhhh” and I was pretty much resigned to getting someone to drive me home while getting WASTED. Then that chick showed up. And this was pretty much the time that I started thinking maybe she was interested. It was way after all that other stuff, even the date, and I guess she wasn’t so into the scene either because she chilled with the small group that had collected around me. And then we talked and I flirted for like a long time.

But then her boyfriend showed up. And I didn’t even know she had a boyfriend. Why do hipster girls always want to date pudgy hairy guys who don’t’ know how to groom their beard? It’s like I can grow a beard, and I can take care of it, and I’m not a pussy. Whatever, they broke up awhile ago. But still, I was all like, “er fuck this…” So now, I don’t know what to think. I haven’t talked to her in at least 5 -6 months, and I don’t know shit about her. I just know that this is the longest she has been single as long as I have known her, and every dude she’s been with has kind of looked the same, i.e. not like me. But still, I have this feeling. I mean she likes dudes that are physically like me, tall and light hair, but not in look or lifestyle. I don’t know. I guess I’m gonna be good and drunk on Friday though.

The Future Is Tight

Don't Call Me, I'll Call You

I really don’t understand it. What is it that they see in me? Why the hell are white bread middle of the road chicks, with some kind of moralistic mentality, and limited experience always becoming attracted to me? What the hell do they see in me? I mean, I don’t think I can be more up front about who I am. I am basically a mess. Even in my best of times, I was wasted but productive. I guess that’s where I am now, again. I am hoping a better and longer wave then the others. But anyway, I don’t make it seem like I want anything but sex and drugs, and I offer only sex and drugs. Okay, these days sex and weed, but still.

I don’t mean that totally literally. I just mean, I don’t want to hurt anyone, I’m not trying to jump into meaningless relationships. I’m way to old for that, and I have proven whatever I felt I needed to prove with that. I mean, I need SOMETHING to even just have sex with someone. But I make it clear that I’m not looking for anything serious. Fuck, I hope I make it clear I don’t take anything seriously, period. If you are cool and want to be friends, and get blasted and go places and whatever? Okay, cool. If you’re going to hang out and flirt every time you do? Okay me too. If you’re going to let me in your pants? DUH!

I mean, if it’s like a choice between you and your hipster friends and some art show, or my friends and me getting stoned and going to bars, where I can hit on drunk chicks because I’m the stoned sober driver. DUH! But I mean, smoking joints in the back of a bar and hanging with my drunken philosopher friends is fun. Going to an art gallery of some person I have never heard of, which will probably consist of me being mildly buzzed and stoned around a bunch of pretensous asshole hipsters, which are the prime targets of my torment and public nonsensical ridicule, doesn’t really appeal to me. Okay, it does. But not when a girl I want to impress is involved. So in a way it’s a compliment. But no. Really. In a choice between that and hanging at a bar when I can hit on a bunch of chicks with my friends? The answer is no.

And really, how, after any interaction with me, any conversation full of my rambling recollections do you have any concept of me as being anything else? I really do not understand. I am not looking for girlfriend. I am as anti-marriage, anti- family, anti-child as I can be without it becoming really negative, because I understand that this is how I like my life. So that’s it. I will not change. I will never settle down. I will never be all domestic like that. My life will always be hectic and erratic and sometimes, yes, destructive. And yet, even after knowing all this, you get all but hurt when I’m like, “No, I think I’ll drive the guys to a bar”… which you fucking just suggested to me. So fine be all butt hurt and send me text message after text message saying, “NO DON'T CALL ME LATER THERE IS NO LATER”, and don’t be surprised when I don’t’ call you. Because unlike every other dude you have dealt with, I DON'T FUCKING CARE.

I mean, sometimes I can do the whole monogamous thing. When I meet someone really cool and their like, “Yeah, we can be friends and you can sleep with me, but we can’t be friends and sleep together while you sleep with other girls.” I mean I can respect that, I’m not come uncontrollable beast, but only if they can respect that this is a temporary agreement, yes it might last a while, but still temporary. And only if it’s worth it. Otherwise I have no problem being friends. I don’t ever say, intimate, or pretend any different. I think it is pretty obvious and well known who I am.

So I really don’t understand? What do they see in me? What the hell do they expect?

One Of Those Hot Girls I Used To Know

So let me tell you a little story. It’s about, the best lay I ever had. What got me thinking about this wasn’t necessarily this story. I was talking to a friend of mine, and I was mentioning a certain lady, and he laughed and said, “another one with big boobs.”

But I had to laugh because, although that’s true, she has awesome tits, but I was thinking about some other things. I really like her eyes, but what I was really thinking about was her smile, and not necessarily her smile. What I mean is, she has a good smile and all, but what I like is she has some big buck ass teeth. For some reason THAT is what made her hot to me.

So that brings me to this other girl. The one I have slept with before. She was the best lay I ever had. Well, except this one other girl, but that girl I got to hit it with a lot more, so I can’t really tell, not having as much “comparative data” compiled. Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that this girl or woman, she was 26 and I was 23 was fucking hot. Shit, she IS fucking hot.

Uhh.. But back to the story… I met this girl through a friend of mine. He owns a gallery and sometimes when he’s generous, he shows my photographs. I mean, I’m not a great photographer so I don’t blame him, but it’s banging because every time I go down, especially when my shit is on the wall, I get to hit on all kinds of chicks. And this time was no different.

I don’t really remember the night too good. There was an opening, a band played and I got stoned and drunk as shit. But that’s like every time I go down there. What I do remember was towards the end of the night, my friend was like doing his “I own a gallery/ I gotta schmooze”, BS. Which is understandable, but I was bored and hanging around with some other people who were either friends staying with us for our rest of the night adventure, or just some other drunk ass people. But good vibes all around.

Then these two hot ass girls come in and say hello to my friend. This one, lets call her “C”, is banging. She’s got some big boots on and leggings and a short skit, and she is wearing one of those stupid American Apparel shirts, except this shirt is an actual shirt she just cut to be all slutty like that. I can’t remember her friend at all. I think it was her roommate, but who cares.

Anyway, she is DRUNK. Like yelling but you still can’t hear her drunk. She goes straight for my friend, who is mortified, and gives him an “I want to fuck you” hello as much as she can. So he pretty much blows her off, and I’m with some other people fucking with guitars and stuff, giggling because I like how she made my friend feel all awkward. He’s a cool dude, but I think a little bit of a prude in a lot of ways.

But then she comes over to where I am, and I think maybe we exchanged words and introductions, I can’t remember. All I remember is that she eventually ended up on the floor giving everyone a clear shot of her ass and twat through her sheer leggings. It was mostly an accident, but also an attempt at getting my friend’s attention. I think everyone was kind of taken aback, but me. I pretty much just laughed my ass off, and I remember like helping her up, because I remember then she was sitting next to me and I was like saying like, “Whatever, its cool. Everyone gets drunk,” or something.

And here is where it gets interesting because she’s sitting there, laughing with me and smiling at me, and I’m looking at her, and yeah she’s really hot, but she is still just a hot girl, and in particular she seems to have a thing for what is basically the opposite of me. My friend, who is short, fit, curly haired and mildly a prude. Also, he’s sober about 75% of the time, whereas I am WASTED 80% of the time. But here is the thing, she’s all laughing and stuff, and then she looks at me, smiling, and she’s got this beautiful smile with a gap tooth. And I don’t know what it was, but I remember that moment, her turning and smiling, and damn, all I wanted was to grab her and kiss her. I have no idea, but there it was.

So eventually things kind of wind down, and my friend is trying to get everyone out of the place so he can go to the bar. What he always does. And this chick is like not about it. She wants to FUCK him. And she is adamant. It becomes her and her friend standing at their car and her screaming, “I’m fucking hot. Why don’t you want to fuck me?” and chucking a bottle of whiskey at him. I vaguely remember intervening with, “Hey, that’s a mean waste of whiskey,” which I thought was hilarious, but maybe not the right moment.

Finally, they leave, or rather her friend belts her into the car as C sulks. But my friend and me go back to his car, and he’s all like beat up about it, and I’m laughing. So I’m like, “What the fuck was that?” And he says, “I fucked her…” and I’m like, “No shit… But what the fuck was that?” So he explains that they hooked up. She was a banging lay, but she wanted him to fuck her in the ass, which is really pushing it for him. But what pushed him over the edge was she apparently brought out a strap-on and desired to repeat the experience, but a little differently. Needless to say, this basically made him mildly terrified of her, but conversely it only made me all the more intrigued. On top of that, any chance to hit it with a woman my friend had, and possibly steal her away was also an attractive option. Not that there is ever any outward competition, its just I think I’m pretty good at flirting and all that shit, but he definitely does much better then I with much less effort.

So the next day she shows up at my friend’s place, to apologize for being a terrifying drunk, which she kind of was. My friend I think was taking a dump or whatever, he was indisposed, so C and I got to talking. I told her again drunk is drunk. You can’t really hold it against anyone. Which is true most of the time. And I made sure to hint that a heedlessly drunk woman with a violent need to fuck me was the kind of woman I was into. I don’t know. I am most certainly “dominate” in sexual terms, but I do like to fight for it. So she takes my number and vice versa, and she leaves. I give my friend the message, he says, “whatever” and I don’t think anything else of it.

Then, I don’t know, like a week later, she calls me. She says she is coming to LA, she’ll be there one night, can I pick her up from the train station? I’m like, “Hell yea,” but more subdued. I figure she’s telling me she’s here for a night, but she hasn’t said anything else really, and she clearly has no qualms about letting her intentions be known, so I was somewhat confused as to her intentions. But I figured at worst I’d get to hang out with an odd hot girl. Which is fine by me.

So, whatever, the day comes, I go the train station to pick her up. Her train is late. How the fuck is a train late? It’s on fucking rails?

So I’m there at Union Station like zoning out and I think she kicked me or something. There she is, I remember she had a leather jacket and really tight pants, showing off her fine ass. And she was smiling at me, gap teeth and all. And there I am, in my hoodie and cargo pants, stoned to hell, wondering, “there’s no way she’s into me. Damnit, she is out of my league.” So I kind of drop all thoughts of the possibility of getting laid, and we go to Phillip’s across the street because one, they have the banginest sandwiches, and two they have Arrogant Bastard Ale.

We proceed to eat and get drunk, which I kind of am apprehensive about because no I can’t drive so if this random person sucks, I’m stuck. But, of course she didn’t. She was really smart, and cool. She had lived all over the world, and she read tarot cards, but didn’t really believe in it, she said she was just good at it. I didn’t really understand what she meant, I think reading people, but she explained it in a weird way. She was very much an out there alternative mindset, but very smart. So we wander around downtown, and its cool, and eventually I sober up and we go back to my car.

As we get up to it I have to unlock it and stuff and she is standing there waiting, and I said something and she laughed and smiled at me. And there it was, that feeling, so I grabbed her and kissed her. And then we drove around, but things were just too tense. We pulled over SOMEWHERE, I don’t know, residential, and totally tackled me, we got into my backseat, and I am of course all over her at this point, which she is ALL about. I got her shirt off and threw it in the back of my car, it’s still there, indecently, and FINALLY got to have her tits. They were really small and firm, she used to be a professional ballerina, not for a while though so she wasn’t emaciated and muscled, she was thin but still had soft supple skin. Her breasts were perfect for small breasts; I like nipples anyway, so it’s not a big deal. Anyway, I got right to sucking on her, but she wasn’t really about it. She immediately got my pants off and started blowing me. I NEEDED her pussy at that point so I got her to drop her pants and get in my face. We continued in this way until we both exploded.

We made out a little and moved the chairs around so we could properly fuck, but then we saw some people walking their dog so we decided to move.

So we moved, I don’t know like a few blocks and fucked real hard and real quick, pants at the ankles style, and then we went to my place.

At this point, we were both pretty ready to get into it, but I really did not want to lose the opportunity to explore such a beautiful body. So, when we got to my place and we started making out, pretty much we stood in the middle of the room and undressed each other, but I wasn’t done. I put a blanket on the floor and had her and me get on it, and I pretty much tried to slow things down as much as possible. I started kissing and licking her long legs, her stomach and hips, and then I rolled her over and started licking and kissing her legs again, taking a moment to linger at her thighs. I bit her ass pinched it. I really wanted to smack it really hard. I really wanted to do a lot of things, but I wasn’t quite sure if she was into those games. I moved up, kissing her back and shoulders, and then kissing her on the lips. That was pretty much it. We had to have penetration at that point.

Her pussy was beautiful, all puckered and cute. She had a little bit of hair; I couldn’t tell it’s trimmed or what. I’m not really the person to ask. Hairy pits are a turn on to me. So I finally got in her again, I think we started doggy style. She was amazing. She made me come really fast. Way faster then most. I remember coming so hard, and then being so turned on by how good she was.

Then we fucked again. This time it was the whole thing. Every position, biting, screaming, groaning, drenched in sweat, it probably lasted at least an hour. We collapsed, exhausted together. I remember we smoked some weed together. I a blanket over us, and we hot boxed it. We were both exhausted, but horny as fuck, she just kept stroking my dick. She wouldn’t let go, and I wasn’t complaining. So we 69ed until we were both satisfied, and passed out on the floor in a pile of blankets and pillows.

We had sex in the morning. It was sweet morning hard wood sex, but she had to catch the train. And then, as we were lying there, smoking a post colitis bowl, it dawned on me. She had come to LA to fuck me. Damn.

I took her to the train and dropped her off. I got to see her again like a month or two later when I visited my friend again. She worked at this little restaurant/ bar and I went over there. She brought me all the beer I could drink, and then gave me her keys to wait drunkenly for her at her place. She came home, and we fucked and it was awesome, but then her roommate came home, which I was anticipating was going to end things, the shared bedroom and all, but it didn’t. Her roommate watched us fuck a second time, and later gave me one of the best compliments ever. “You have the nicest cock I’ve ever seen,” and considering I think she is a lesbian, that’s damn nice.

I never really got to see C again. She moved to some other state to go back to school. It kind of sucks, I really liked her, but in the end the thing I think is the strangest of all is that the strap-on never made an appearance.

Accidents I Watched

Cool

POLICE broke into a flat to check who lived there 42 years after its owner was reported missing – and found the mummified remains of the woman sitting in front of her TV. Croatian police say Hedviga Golik, who was born in 1924, had apparently made herself a cup of tea and sat down to watch her black-and-white television before she died. Officers believe that would have been in 1966, when she was last seen by neighbors. They said one day she seemed to have just disappeared and they thought she had moved to the capital Zagreb.

WTF???

What the fuck? Why am I left here feeling like the bad guy? I'm a douche-bag, and I don't care about you. Right.

You are an alcoholic. That is the beginning of your problems, and to an almost all encompassing degree the source of your problems. You are also homeless, vulgar, and generally difficult to be around. Fuck you even taste like an ashtray. But through all of this bullshit that you spew on a constant, I was able to accept as you, mostly because that's what it is, and we were friends because of it. I mean, I can't lie, you're smart, witty, and you got a bangin' body. But you're a goddamn alcoholic.

Okay, and for me it's not that hard to accept an alcoholic. I mean, look who's talking. I guess in the end you just finally pushed even past my ability to just accept. I had no problem with you drunk dialing me, picking you up from your crazy adventures where you are literally caked in filth and lying in the streets of skid row with a bunch of crack heads. I didn't tell you "I told you so" when you fucked your ex, twice. I let you stay at my house when even your mother stopped talking to you completely.

No I had no problem with that. What I had a problem with is you calling me, telling me your in a shitty situation and you need me to get you and then I drive to fuck knows where and you are nowhere to be found. What I have a problem with is this happened twice and I warned you, no more, and you call me, balling, screeching, pleading that you need me because you finally decided to go to rehab, and you wont' be able to see me for a long time. So I again dive to you, and you are NOWHERE, and don't answer your phone, even though you obsessively called me the whole 15 min. drive to make sure I was coming.

And then to top it off, the next day you are not going to rehab. Low and behold, you are with staying at some dude you met at a bar's place. Again. Which is how you ended up with the guy who masturbated on you in your sleep, or asked you every morning if you want to suck his dick. Duh, you fucking idiot.

But the part that pisses me off the most is through all of this, your only reaction is that I cannot understand. I can't understand addiction. I have no idea about what you are feeling, the shakes, withdrawals, and vomiting. Well, if you had been paying attention to me any of the times I was talking to you, I do understand, you idiot. I am an alcoholic. I went to rehab. How the fuck can you bullshit me straight to my face? I guess thats the difference between us. I went to rehab once, and now I have a life. You are on what? Stint number 4? You might be pissed, you might think I'm a dick for dropping you, but you know what? I don't need anymore bullshit.

Toe Prophet

TOE PROPHET

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. Luke 2: 8-11

In the year of 1863, in Aurora, Texas a small boy was tending his father's sheep.

The boy was named Amos Nathaniel Gileson. He was alone in the fields and heard a

great noise like the heavens tearing apart. It did not sound like lightening or

dynamite, which the youth was accustomed to, this was a noise he had not before heard.

The sound scattered the sheep and the boy overcame his fear in order to chase his

flock. Amos herded all of the sheep into their pen except for one. The final animal

was grazing on the Gileson's neighbor's land. Robert Linden had just completed the

construction of a new barn. He had taken the land as payment for his service in the

war for independence about thirty years earlier. It had come complete with a working

windmill.

Amos had roped the stray sheep, and was pulling it lazily back toward his father's

farm. Then from the sky came a great ball of fire like nothing Amos had ever seen.

He had heard of such things, the boy actually thought of God's destruction of Soddom

and Gohommorah, and so he was very afraid. He thought that this was surely a sign

that the town was going to be destroyed.

Immediately after catching sight of the ball, it thunders over Amos, and smashes

the windmill. Unfazed, the ball continues it's downward descent until it crashes

straight into the barn.

Amos prepared himself for the rain of fire, and the sheep ran away. Amos, on his

knees praying to our Lord for forgiveness and safety, was surprised to find that after

two "Our Father's and a "Hail Mary" nothing more had yet to happen. So Amos opened

his eyes and looked around himself.

The windmill was smashed to pieces. The foundation was still intact, but the

wooden timbers ended abruptly in splintered ends. The rest was in little pieces all

over the place. Just in front of the barn, a gash in the dirt started. It was about

fifteen feet wide and about five feet deep in the deepest part. What was left of the

barn, as it had been broad-sided, was on fire. Against the bright blue, cloudless sky

the plume of smoke became a monolithic landmark. Since the land was flat and one

could see for miles, Amos knew soon his father and Mr. Linden would soon show up on

horseback to investigate.

This was about what Amos had expected a giant fireball to do, smash things, but it

left something he hadn't expected. Amos began walking around the ruins of the barn,

and came upon a object for which he had no comparison. The closest thing he knew of

which it resembled was a steam engine. It was about fifteen feet wide and twenty feet

long. Along one side a large puncture could be seen, and Amos thought it resembled a

steam engine that had blown it's boiler. It also seemed to be made of stamped and

riveted steel like a steam engine. But unlike the engines Amos was used to, which

usually were a cylindrical shape, this one seemed to Amos to have been made to

resemble a hawk.

The side facing Amos was the damaged side, and he could clearly see into the

mechanical workings. Amos thought maybe it was a large farm tractor. Even though the

railroad did pass through the town, and accidents weren't unheard of Amos did not

think that this machine was meant for the tracks. Then he realized that the nearby

mine used giant steam powered cranes. Amos imagined that this must be one of them,

and maybe a mine exploded and this was thrown form the mine. This explanation

satisfied Amos enough that he finally was able to relax. He decided it was safer to

wait for his father to appear before exploring it more though.

In the distance Amos could see his father, Mr. Gileson, swiftly riding a horse to

where Amos was standing. Still he would take a few minutes to reach Amos. So Amos

sat down to wait, but as soon as hit did he heard a great noise.

At first Amos thought it must be some animal, but he had never heard this sound in

his life. Looking around he could see no beasts. Then he heard it again. It was

coming from the machine. Amos got up and peered into the hole in the machine's side.

The bright sun made the interior only seem darker. The noise once more issued forth.

This time the boy became immediately convinced that it was a voice. Amos thought

maybe an injured worker was inside. It was probably a cry for help. That would

explain why it sounded so strange and unfamiliar. But as Amos entered the hole he did

not see any human form.

Before Amos stood a creature whose skin glowed a pale golden color. It was about

two heads taller then his father, and it's body seemed to flow like water. As the boy

looked up to catch a glance of the face, he found that the head was surrounded by

light and he could not make out any features. Then the boy heard the roar again and

was astonished to realize that it came from this impressive, but fragile looking

creature.

Amos then remembered the scriptures and how God called to Abraham and Moses. Then

he knew he was in the presence of our Lord, and he was hearing His voice. So the

boy fell to one knee and said, "Here I am Lord", like Isaiah in the night. But the

boy could not understand the voice of God, so the creature, which was a messenger of

the Lord, touched the boy on the toe.

Amos felt a great pain in his foot, as if a spike had gone into the front of his

big toe all the way into the joint where it meets the foot. In his ears he could

still hear the roar, but the touch had changed him. Where the creature had touched

him, he could hear the words of God through the messenger. So in his ears he heard a

squealing like a wounded animal, but in his toe he heard, "Do not be afraid. I will

not harm you." The boy could not understand everything being told to him because the

roar was so loud, but the creature went on, "I was in a hit and run. I think I am

bleeding internally. I think I'll be okay. My father will come for me." Amos had

been bowing his head, and when he looked up he could see that the glow was beginning

to wane. The creature began to waver and fall. The boy sprang up and caught it's

body, but it no longer was alive.

The long grey body of the creature fell so that the head had draped itself over

the shoulder of Amos. In his ear he could hear the roar, which now sounded like a

light breeze, as the long grey body gave it's last mutterings. Amos, unfortunately,

could only hear these words with his toe, but they were not loud enough to reach that

extremity. With great reverence Amos put the body down and prayed.

Mr. Gileson had seen his son enter the mechanical wreckage. So he followed Amos

as soon as he got off of his horse. Not too far behind was Mr. Linden on his horse.

Both men were terrified when they heard the roar. So Mr. Gileson was quite relieved

to find his son unharmed. He was understandably perplexed by all of these things that

had happened, but Amos was able to explain the appearance of the angel. Together they

talked with Mr. Linden, and upon seeing the evidence, he could only believe as well.

Mr. Gileson and Mr. Linden decided that the creature's body must be taken to the

church and shown to the priest, Father Unsereo.

The three of them moved the body from the machine to the outside. In the

light they all got their first sight of what it looked like. Compared to when Amos

had seen it in life the creature was very different now. When alive the skin had

shone with some inner luminance, and when Amos had tried to look at the face he found

that the head was too bright. Now the body was easy to see. No longer was it

luminescent, in fact it was a dull grey, and Amos thought it looked like a long clay

figure. There were no wrinkles or scratches, or hairs. The entire body was perfectly

smooth. If the creature had still been standing it would have been much taller then

Amos's twelve year old frame. His father was a head shorter then Mr. Linden, yet Mr.

Linden would still have been a head shorten then the creature. Mr. Gileson and Mr.

Linden both questioned Amos throughly about what it had looked like when it was alive.

They were all interested especially in the face.

When Amos had first looked upon the face of the angel he could not tell if the

creature had a face, or if the brightness of the skin made it impossible for

Amos to see the features. But now all three of them could clearly see the face of the

angel. It was a simple perfectly round grey head with two equally perfect round black

eyes. There were no openings of any kind or anything that could be a mouth or nose.

They all saw this, and took it as a sign that it was indeed a messenger of God because

it could only speak when He willed it to do so. They built a crude stretcher out of

timber from the barn, and carried the body back to town. It would take until

nightfall to reach the church.

By the time the three had reached the town rumors about the explosion had already

begun to spread. Still no one in the town except Amos, his father, and Mr. Linden

knew what happened. Since many had seen the plume of smoke rising above Mr. Linden's

land, when they saw him approaching, they knew to question him. So a crowd began to

grow around the three and the creature. Mr. Gileson had instructed Amos not to

tell anyone a word of what had happened until they saw the priest. Mr. Linden also

agreed that this was for the best. So when the crowd asked about the body, all three

answered, "I do not know. We are taking it to the priest." Soon Sheriff Penuckle

arrived to help clear a path.

The crowd arranged themselves so that Mr. Gileson and Mr. Linden were carrying the

body, followed by Amos, who was followed by the sheriff, who was followed by almost

everyone in town. At the steps to the church the sheriff stopped the crowd to allow

the others to go in alone. Amos was about to follow when his mother grabbed him. She

did not think that a child had any place in these affairs. So Amos joined the rest of

the town in their wait to see what the priest had to say.

As he waited Amos head many whisperings in the crowd. Everyone was interested in

what was going on, and what exactly had been carried into the church. The body had

not been covered and many had looked at the creature, but the shock of the event made

it hard for them to process the information. The townspeople had not seen the crash

and did not know the origins of the creature. Amos could no longer hold silent and he

began to inform the crowd of it's heavenly origins. His mother quickly grabbed him

and scolded him. Amos would have to resign himself to waiting for his father to

return from within the church. During all of this Father Unsereo had sent Sheriff

Penuckle to fetch the town doctor. Doctor Protus was the oldest person in the town,

save for two older gentlemen who were twins and only one year older then him. Upon

viewing the body and hearing Mr. Gileson and Mr. Linden's recounting of the explosion,

Dr. Protus could not decide if he wanted to inspect the body. If it were an angel he

and they all agreed such a thing would be disrespectful. Since neither Mr. Gileson

nor Mr. Linden seemed completely sure what it was they decided to call Amos into the

church.

The sheriff came and lead Amos and Mrs. Gileson to the back of the church. There

in the rectory dining room the body had been laid out on the table. The leaf had to

be put in for the table to be long enough for the body, and still it's feet hung off

the end. Mrs. Gileson was shocked by what she saw. No one had ever seen or even

heard of anything like this.

Father Unsereo had arranged the chairs along one wall, except for two. These two

were by the creature's head. The rest ran along the length of it's body. Amos and

his mother sat in these seats. Then Father Unsereo questioned Amos about the

explosion. Amos told him about watching the fire in the sky, and about the metal

machine. Then he asked about the creature, and Amos told him about how it glowed, and

how it spoke to him through his toe. Then they spoke amongst themselves until Sheriff

Penuckle asked, "If this is an angel, where are the wings? Doesn't angels have

wings?" The father informed him that angels are often depicted with wings, but that

doesn't necessarily mean anything. But then he asked the more obvious question, "Why

does an angel need a flying machine? And why's it broke?" This had been in Amos'

mind for some time. It seemed that the machine was indeed a flying one, and it was

most certainly damaged before it landed. Mr. Linden had sat at the chair at the end

of the table. He had kept silent as he often did, during the whole conversation. In

the silence he put forth the obvious answer, "It was knocked outta the sky. Someone

wanted it to fall." Father Unsereo stopped the conversation here. He said that they

did not know enough to answer any of these questions. All they did know was that more

of these creatures were supposed to come. The town would meet the next day in the

church to decide what was to be done. Dr. Protus decided it unwise to examine the

body.

The creature was too tall to fit in a regular coffin, so the end of one was cut

off and it's feet just stuck out. The creature and the custom coffin were put on

display before the altar of the church, and as people arrived for the meeting they

could take a look. Many were taken by surprise by it's height and appearance, but the

long thin body and lack of features made it appear innocent and frail.

Mr. and Mrs. Gileson were very proud of their son Amos. During the meeting Mr.

Gileson, Mr. Linden, Father Unsereo, Sheriff Penuckle, Doctor Protus, and Amos would

have to stand before the entire town and give a recount of what they saw and their

opinion on the matter. When Mr. Gileson went up he confidently told of his arrival at

the crash, and how he heard a terrible noise. He proudly retold watching his son's

toe bitten by the creature and how his son hadn't even flinched.

Doctor Protus nervously stood before the crowd. The old man looked tiny in front

of the giant in the coffin. The doctor began by uncovering the body of the creature.

"The boy who can.. er speak to or did speak to this," me pointed to the body, "claims

the uh angel complained of internal bleeding. You can see from this swelling that it

must have been true." He pointed to a large lump on the side of the body. The people

began to mutter under their breath, and Amos knew that the doctor's scientific mind

had clouded the truth. "Also I have inspected the flying machine. And it is that. A

machine. It has levers and dials, and these," he pulled out some gears from his

pockets. "It is a machine like any other. It can be built and understood." The

crowd had been thrown into some discussion over this when Mr. Linden arose and stood

in front of the coffin and Dr. Protus.

Mr. Linden, like Mr. Gileson, started with his description of arriving at the

crash and first seeing Amos and the creature. Then he looked down at the body and

said, "The doctor's right. The angel was injured." Mr. Linden believed the creature

to have been a heavenly warrior, who being engaged in combat was wounded and fell to

earth. The machine was some kind of giant heaven chariot that had been damaged.

The discussion and debate then overflowed into the pews. Heated arguments were

beginning to bring tempers to their breaking point. So Amos walked up to the altar,

which was elevated above the floor, and said, "I heard the words of the angel. He

said, 'I was in a hit and run. I think I am bleeding internally. I think I'll be

okay. My father will come for me.' And so we will wait for his father's arrival."

But the crowd was not yet satisfied. They questioned if he could understand the word,

for Mr. Linden and Mr. Gileson himself had testified that they could only hear a great

roar. The crowd was not moved by Amos' words.

The boy fell to his knees and prayed. In his mind he could hear the roar of the

angel. In his toe he could hear the words of the angel. He began to feel the words

in his toe again, so he repeated what the angel had said. As he repeated the words he

could feel the roar in his toe and when the words left his mouth in english, the roar

left his toe. It deafened the noise of the crowed and they all fell in awe of the

roar, which through Amos' toe they all could hear. It was decided then that this was

indeed an angel and his father would come. It was also decided that the machine would

be turned into a chapel, and the angel would be kept in the funeral home with the rest

of the dead until he was claimed.

They only thing they could not agree on was why the angel had fallen. What "hit

and run" meant was being argued throughout the town, but no one could make sense of

that either. Mr. Linden thought that this was the heavenly war prophesied by

Revelations. The sheriff and Mr. Linden had begun rounding up supporters and they

were preparing to lend their militaristic weight to heaven's armies. They wanted to

travel to the state capital and convince the governor to send troops. So they left

the town to bring the matter to the attention of the authorities. Doctor Protus

thought that turning the machine into a building was a waste of knowledge. He wanted

to try to rebuild the machine. While preparations for constructing the chapel began,

the doctor began to take all the inner workings of the machine, leaving just the metal

riveted hull. This would become the steeple of the chapel.

For two days the people of the town worked on the chapel and prepared the funeral

home for the reception of the angel's father. On the third day one of them asked,

"When will his father come?" By this time many from the surrounding towns had heard

about what happened and had arrived as well. People from all over the majority of

Texas were there. The town was swollen with activity, and it could not house the

influx, much less feed them all. This with the uncertainty that surrounded the angel

made everyone uneasy. The only way for the situation to resolve itself was for the

angels to arrive. Unfortunately, Amos did not know when they would arrive. The angel

had simply said, "My father will come for me."

By the fourth day many who had come from outside had left. They said, "It is not

a real body. It is a side show." They had not been there for the town meeting, but

even those who had began to doubt. Some even said, "Maybe the war is not going so

well for the angels." Amos heard these things and remembered the angel, who in life

had skin that glowed, but even Amos knew that something had knocked it out of the sky.

His mother saw him being troubled and she said to him, "Amos remember even Jesus was

tested by the devil." And even when others began to doubt him Amos still believed as

did Mr. and Mrs. Gileson. So the three of them prayed that night for a resolution and

the return of the angel to it's home.

On the fifth day the chapel was completed. The machine stood upright pointing

about twenty feet into the air, and a wooden square building surrounded it on all

sides. Inside there was room for a small altar and four pews. On the night of the

fifth day, to consecrate the chapel a mass was being held. It had just ended and the

Gileson family, along with Father Unsereo and the few who were still waiting for the

angels, were praying inside the chapel.

There was a knock at the door. Someone shouted, "They're coming!" and everyone

ran outside. Most of the town was already out staring up at the night sky. The sky

was normally an expanse of darkness and stars, but tonight it was lit by an unnatural

sun.

The heavens seemed to be tearing open. A giant fire ball, thousands of times

larger then the first one, was drowning out the stars. Everyone began to run and get

dressed in their Sunday best. The Gilesons were no different, and by the time the

town was dressed and ready the fireball had almost reached the earth. Although the

town still had disagreements about some aspects of the angel it was an undeniable fact

that Amos was the only one who could talk to them. So it was decided that when the

angels arrived the welcoming committee would consist of Amos, the Father, Mr. Gileson,

and Sheriff Dupuck, who Sheriff Penuckle had left in his stead.

Amos and many others had expected a machine like the one that had carried the

first angel. This one was much larger. The machine had the shape of a monstrous egg,

and as it passed over the town it completely blocked out the sky, not only in the

town, but also in the surrounding fields. Hovering over the town it could be easily

seen that the spikes were in fact enormous battlements and cannons. Three gigantic

legs slammed into the earth and held the metal monster aloft. In this position it was

still at least two hundred feet above the town. Amos could hear the whisperings in

the crowd. Some said, "Linden was right," and again he heard, "Maybe the war is not

going so well for the angels." There was a general feeling that this machine could

not hold benevolent beings. It was obviously a piece of war.

Then a smaller machine come out of a hole in the larger one. It came down to the

town and landed right next to the chapel. A door at the back opened. Amos, the

father, and Mr. Gileson walked over to the open door to greet the visitors. Mrs.

Gileson told her son that she was proud of him, and pushed him forward. Sheriff

Dupuck had decided he would stay back make sure the crowd stayed calm. Out of the

door first came two monsters of enormous proportion. They were about ten feet tall

and larger then some full grown bison. From head to foot they were plated in metallic

armor and they carried huge weapons. Behind him Amos could feel the crowd begin to

slink away, and he could even feel Father Unsereo start to back up a step and a half.

His father squeezed Amos' shoulder and otherwise did not move.

These who armored behemoths stopped just outside the door. From between then then

came four more creatures. These ones resembled the angel. Their skin was glowing and

they had no face or eyes because of the brightness as well. But unlike the first

angel they were clothed and armed. They were wearing an armor that resembled the

monsters. These four formed ranks in front of the monsters. Then came two very

ornately dressed angels. These two had long flowing clothes with trains behind them,

and one wore and ornate headdress and the other a large plume of feathers on their

back. These two walked up the corridor created by the soldiers, and stopped right in

front of Amos.

For a moment there was silence. Then Amos said, "Are you searching for your son?"

but still there was no answer. Then Amos remembered that they did not understand and

he would have to speak through his toe. So he tried again and the angel with the

headdress said yes. So Amos lead the angels, who were surrounded by the soldier

angels, to the funeral home where the first angel was being shown. Behind them

followed the rest of the town. When the two angels reached the customized coffin with

the grey body in it they began to weep, and it was clear to all that these were the

angel's parents. The one in the headdress was the father, and the other was the

mother.

The townspeople helped carry the coffin back to the machine, and in a large

procession they offered their condolences. The coffin was then loaded into the

machine and the mother and the soldiers returned. The father stood before Amos and

with the now customary roar said to Amos' toe, "Your people have shown great respect

to me, and my people. We are in debt to you." Then he and the giant monsters

returned to the machine, which flew back to the larger machine. With some amount of

noise and the raising of it's giant legs the spiky egg too lifted away from the town.

In this way man, through the care of a son, entered into a covenant with the angels

where the fallen angels would be cared for in return for the angels' protection of

earth.