My parents aren't from LA. They're from Brooklyn. So when they moved here they didn't know anything. One consequence of that was, they sent me to a catholic school for the first eight grades. This school was run by two nuns. One, an ancient and therefore more benign and forgivable nun, and one younger perhaps more devout, but certainly more of a pain in the ass, nun.
The older one was the principal, and I think she taught us beginning in 6th grade. The other one actually did everything in terms of running the school. Not because that was her job, but because even if she hadn't become a nun she would have been one of those nosey obsessive obnoxious people who HAS to take control of everything. You know, those people who are more nervous when they are doing nothing then when they are totally overwhelmed, although they are never pleasant. Anyway, the younger one taught us classes starting from the beginning, but eventually, around 6th grade the only class I had without a nun was math.
So everything, from geography to history, from science to english was ALL taught with a heavy christian lean. And I don't mean like they would say stuff like, "Well, there is the universe, and god made it, but we can still use science to understand it." No. It wasn't even that liberal. It was a, "God made it, and you damn well better be thankful, and if you fuck up, you're going to hell!" kind of a place. Fuck, I can't imagine how destroyed the psyche of each child put into their care is now. They taught us that masturbation will send you to hell, people who aren't christian are going to hell, if you don't go to church you are going to hell, if you think about a hot girl and how cool it would be to fuck her you are going to hell, if you think about masturbating you are going to hell. Fuck, they taught us that if you think about sinning you are sinning and you are going to hell. How the fuck are you supposed to rationally approach a situation if thinking about what might happen might send you to hell?
Alright, here is a little example. My best friend at the time and I had just watched Jurassic Park, as did millions of little spawn at the time. And like any boys who like science just because, we were intrigued by the possibility of leaving behind animals from today for people in the future, like the flies in the movie. That's how they get the dinosaur DNA. Anyway, we decided that was a good idea, and we decided to try it out with some glue and some ants and other unfortunate insects.
So there we are two little kids on the playground with glue and ants. Sounds pretty normal to you? If you were a teacher/ parent/ guardian how would you react? Would you be mildly amused? Would you be curious what we were doing, or why? Or would you grab us by the hair/ ear and drag us physically to the main office to be punished with lectures, parent calling, and lines? You know, lines, when you write shit over and over again, like Bart Simpson. Anyway, that IS how those nuns reacted. Not with any kind of understanding of creativity, or exploratory spirit. Only with the wrath of god and the full whirlwind condemnation for killing HIS creatures. Yeah, meanwhile I'm sure they would LAUGH at a vegetarian who won't eat meat for the same reason. In fact I know so.
So here I am years later, expecting that this is a distant memory from ten years ago, and I can curse their names and try to forget the abuse. But no. Why? Because my obnoxious mother is a goddamn weekly observant christian and so is my idiot father. And despite my objections of, "I fucking hate those people," we are having dinner with them on Sunday. Fuck me. I'm going to stab a nun in the face.
I fucking hate it though. I was so close to getting out of it, and my mom turns on the who, "Oh but that old bitch is going to die and it would mean so much to me, and your brother is here and blah blah blah." So fuck me, I said okay.
And you know what? Fuck my brother too. I don't know why my parents kiss his ass so much. All he wants is to LEAVE, like both of us did originally, and on top of that he what? STOLE $85,000 FROM YOU FUCKING IDIOTS! Goddamn it. And they can't even spare me fucking gas money. They kiss his fucking ass and the ass of his fat breeder girlfriend. Meanwhile, my retard father can't lift a finger to keep this house from literally falling apart. And guess who ends up patching the roof, laying concrete, and unclogging the pluming full of YOUR FUCKING SHIT AND TOILET PAPER YOU LAZY ASSHOLES!
Fuck. How did this because a fuck my family fest? I mean, I really do not like them. That is true. And it is a constant test of my ability to keep my temper in check with them. But it is difficult for me. I mean, losing my temper is a big reason why I am fucking stuck with them to begin with, and a big reason why my life is fucked.
Goddamn it. I do not want to see these fucking nuns. Every memory I have of them is of me wanting to be big enough to kick their ass. And now I am. Fuck it. I am beginning to suspect that life is in fact a series of tests to see how far it can push you before you stab someone. Oh, well, I guess I'm going to stab a nun.
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